Fixating on a girl and refusing to leave her alone is what losers do.

Here's some stuff from yet another guy unwilling to face the fact she doesn't want him:

So I was in a club queue with mates and we are talking to two girls also in the queue. We see the girls later on at the bar, we all sit at a table together and im successfully chatting up this hot girl (she even buys me a drink). We then go to the dance together where we dance and i kiss close and number close her.

i send her a text and she replies 2 days later, apologizing for late reply saying she was busy etc.

Any guy healthy in the head (sadly, there aren't that many of us anymore) knows that this should be the end of the post. When a girl gives you her number and then doesn't respond to your call/text within a few hours, it means she does not want to see you again. (In the less than 1% of the time this isn't true, she will make it very obvious and will invite you out. Always.)

But like most losers this guy can't admit to himself she's not into him, so this post goes on for quite some time.

anyways we send a few texts to each other and i ask if she wanna meet for a drink and she agrees. So i say i will ring her tomorrow to arrange something. When i call she doesn't pickup and i don't leave a message. She then texts me apologizing she missed my call etc.

So he tries the same thing again and gets the same result. (Einstein's definition of insanity reference here.) It is now doubly clear she does not want to see him again. Only fixation and obsession would lead a guy to ignore the obvious reality and keep trying. Wouldn't you know...

So anyways a few days pass and i text her asking when she wanna meet up, she replies 3 days later!!! and doesn't answer my question.

A THIRD TIME he tries, and a THIRD TIME he gets exactly the same result.

I'm really confused by the phone games she is playing?

No. You're not. You refuse to admit she isn't interested in you and wants you to leave her alone, which you know perfectly well is the truth.

if she ain't interested in me she could just not reply to me as I'm never gonna see her again.

That's not how girls operate, because usually they're nice and try to be polite. You should not punish her for trying to be as polite and gentle with you as possible. You should have recognized the signals the first time around and left her alone.

I know I harp on this every day, guys, but don't expect me to stop anytime soon. It is very likely this girl was turned off by this guy because she could sense his desperation right away. STOP BEING DESPERATE. STOP FIXATING ON ONE GIRL. You're getting it backwards and making your life hurt.

Be awesome. If you're not awesome, put in the goddamn work to GET awesome. Then let the girls come to you.

Obsession = bad; lying = bad

You know you're in for it when the first line of a two long paragraph forum post is this:

I'm a sophomore in college and I've liked my best friend here the whole time.

Oh God.

You don't even need to read the rest of the train wreck to know what's coming. This guy's been playing the best friend for a year-plus and waiting for his chance to have sex with the girl. That, in a word, is evil. It's treasonous. To a girl, THIS IS BETRAYAL. And she is right.

But wait, it gets better!

I was in a serious relationship last year, so it didn't really matter then, but this year has been a little annoying with keeping the "oh you're like a sister" facade up.

This guy is a sleazebag of the lowest order for lying to a girl and trying to manipulate her feelings like this. He is scum.

But wait, it gets even better still!

She now has a serious boyfriend who is one of my good friends

I can only hope that both of these people realize what a scumbag their "friend" is, roast him in public and get away from it before he does too much damage.

So I'm thinking about telling her, in the most non-dramatic, disarming way possible.

Meaning, in the way most likely to get her to have sex with me. At least I can rest assured that will never, ever happen (at least not consentually).

Basically it'd be nice to know if she's never had feelings for me and if I'm in that super friend-zone "never going to happen" category, so I can just know it would never work and move on.

Oh. Well, that's easy. I can tell you now: she has never for a solitary second wanted to have sex with you. She doesn't now, and she never will. Now you know and you can move on.

Except you are a scumbag and you are lying through your teeth when you say this.

Readers, this is exactly what a larval obsessed stalker looks like. The kind that actually is a threat to a girl's physical safety. The kind girls wind up getting restraining orders against, about two weeks before the stalker kills them.

If you're wondering if she's into you, she's not.

Here's tonight's dose of wishful thinking:

Wierd situation for me. There is a chick in another team at work who is a couple of years older than me (23 & 25 respectively). We have some dialogue i.e. facebook and email at work going, which is good. She recently broke up with her bf as of maybe 6 weeks ago.

Anyway, she is *smoking* hot. This is good. However, loads of people at work think this also although they rarely talk etc. She thinks I'm funny and all the rest of it. I'd really like to get together on the weekend for lunch or something or just hanging out in town.

I cannot think of a good way in. Any ideas? Kinda don't want to look like a mongoloid or read too much into things as they are.

It's remarkable and amusing how similar these posts are, and you can find them all over the internet. Here we have a laundry list of loser indicators. Contact primarily through the internet, check. Pretending you have a chance with a girl two or three social points above you, check. Strategy of trying to be a friend and then trying to make it sexual later, check.

And look at the doublethink here: he's simultaneously aware and unaware that since she became single, he's one of dozens of guys she knows lining up to bang her. He knows of no reason why he would be at the top of the list, yet wants to believe it anyway. The chances that he ends up extremely frustrated at her sudden coolness toward him are about 94%.

Repeat after me. Don't fixate. Don't fixate. DON'T. FUCKING. FIXATE. This is one girl. There are dozens or hundreds more right there in your own workplace, and a whole world of them outside its doors. Get out there and hang out with people, be chill and good at life, and they will come to you. Which is as it should be.

If you're staring at the contents of your fridge wondering whether you're hungry, you're not. And if you're wondering whether she's into you, she's not.

One more important lesson here: a woman never breaks up with her boyfriend until she has someone specific in mind she's planning to latch onto. So our writer here and his legion of coworkers lining up outside this woman's door are wasting their time in the first place. That they fail to see this is a symptom of fixation and an indicator of a problem with self-awareness in general.