Obsession = bad; lying = bad

You know you're in for it when the first line of a two long paragraph forum post is this:

I'm a sophomore in college and I've liked my best friend here the whole time.

Oh God.

You don't even need to read the rest of the train wreck to know what's coming. This guy's been playing the best friend for a year-plus and waiting for his chance to have sex with the girl. That, in a word, is evil. It's treasonous. To a girl, THIS IS BETRAYAL. And she is right.

But wait, it gets better!

I was in a serious relationship last year, so it didn't really matter then, but this year has been a little annoying with keeping the "oh you're like a sister" facade up.

This guy is a sleazebag of the lowest order for lying to a girl and trying to manipulate her feelings like this. He is scum.

But wait, it gets even better still!

She now has a serious boyfriend who is one of my good friends

I can only hope that both of these people realize what a scumbag their "friend" is, roast him in public and get away from it before he does too much damage.

So I'm thinking about telling her, in the most non-dramatic, disarming way possible.

Meaning, in the way most likely to get her to have sex with me. At least I can rest assured that will never, ever happen (at least not consentually).

Basically it'd be nice to know if she's never had feelings for me and if I'm in that super friend-zone "never going to happen" category, so I can just know it would never work and move on.

Oh. Well, that's easy. I can tell you now: she has never for a solitary second wanted to have sex with you. She doesn't now, and she never will. Now you know and you can move on.

Except you are a scumbag and you are lying through your teeth when you say this.

Readers, this is exactly what a larval obsessed stalker looks like. The kind that actually is a threat to a girl's physical safety. The kind girls wind up getting restraining orders against, about two weeks before the stalker kills them.