Friday, June 24, 2011

Disconcerting thought of the day

Fairly frequently when anyone non-male or non-white gets fired, a discrimination complaint and/or lawsuit follows. Sadly discrimination still exists in some places. Even more sadly, most of the time the fired person was fired for incompetence and/or obstructiveness. I've been there and done that.

Most of the time the company's insurance company will settle for between $10,000 and $25,000, even if everyone involved is sure the company will win the lawsuit. Why? Because even if you win you're still on the hook for litigation costs, which can quickly run over $25,000. Basically you only actually contest the charge in court if you're doing it out of principle, or if the plaintiff is making outlandish (and therefore potentially damaging if given even a hint of substantiation) claims.

That brings us to the fun thought that crossed my mind: You know who else's services can be contracted for $25,000 or so, instead of a lawyer's?

Hint: You'll never have to worry about that person bringing any more complaints ever again. Not after the boating accident.

I'm not saying that the fact I thought of this is proof I'm going to hell, but it's definitely on the exhibit list.

I'm in love.

Attractive woman probably in her mid-late 20s comes to the counter to check into Mash's World Famous Inn (No Fools Suffered). I do all the check-in stuff and hand her her keys.

"Room 101," I said.

She suddenly looked put off. "Room 101?"

"Room 101."

"What's in room 101?"

[Dramatic pause while I assume the most serious expression I can muster]

"You know what is in Room 101, Kellie."

"Everyone knows what is in Room 101."

"The thing that is in Room 101 is--"

"The worst thing in the world," we finish together. She laughs. We high-five. She leaves. I never fully understood until today why I got into this business.

The bad news is, she's here with her husband. I hope he understands it's nothing personal that I have to have him whacked. Just wrong place, wrong time, that's all.