If you're wondering if she's into you, she's not.

Here's tonight's dose of wishful thinking:

Wierd situation for me. There is a chick in another team at work who is a couple of years older than me (23 & 25 respectively). We have some dialogue i.e. facebook and email at work going, which is good. She recently broke up with her bf as of maybe 6 weeks ago.

Anyway, she is *smoking* hot. This is good. However, loads of people at work think this also although they rarely talk etc. She thinks I'm funny and all the rest of it. I'd really like to get together on the weekend for lunch or something or just hanging out in town.

I cannot think of a good way in. Any ideas? Kinda don't want to look like a mongoloid or read too much into things as they are.

It's remarkable and amusing how similar these posts are, and you can find them all over the internet. Here we have a laundry list of loser indicators. Contact primarily through the internet, check. Pretending you have a chance with a girl two or three social points above you, check. Strategy of trying to be a friend and then trying to make it sexual later, check.

And look at the doublethink here: he's simultaneously aware and unaware that since she became single, he's one of dozens of guys she knows lining up to bang her. He knows of no reason why he would be at the top of the list, yet wants to believe it anyway. The chances that he ends up extremely frustrated at her sudden coolness toward him are about 94%.

Repeat after me. Don't fixate. Don't fixate. DON'T. FUCKING. FIXATE. This is one girl. There are dozens or hundreds more right there in your own workplace, and a whole world of them outside its doors. Get out there and hang out with people, be chill and good at life, and they will come to you. Which is as it should be.

If you're staring at the contents of your fridge wondering whether you're hungry, you're not. And if you're wondering whether she's into you, she's not.

One more important lesson here: a woman never breaks up with her boyfriend until she has someone specific in mind she's planning to latch onto. So our writer here and his legion of coworkers lining up outside this woman's door are wasting their time in the first place. That they fail to see this is a symptom of fixation and an indicator of a problem with self-awareness in general.