Thursday, September 15, 2011

You won't stop being awkward till you get out more, son

Here we are again discussing some stuff somebody posted on a message board. I would hate for you to be deceived by the lies and chicanery of the alpha class that seeks to enslave you.

I met this girl for the first time last Tuesday for coffee, we had met through friends so this is the first time that I had actually met her IRL and aside from a few conversations on MSN hadn't had a super long convo with her.

I am skeptical of the "met through friends" claim. It sounds like he looked this girl up on Facebook. Please, don't do that. If you're looking girls up on Facebook you are not getting out enough. Get out more.
We ended up talking for about two hours, which I found pretty remarkable since I hate coffee shops and generally get bored with long winded talks.
He omits the details of what they talked about, and those details are important. Was there any charge to the conversation, or was it just Getting To Know You Hour? Was there flirtatious banter or just "yeah, I'm into this band and that TV show"? All the time guys have mundane two-hour conversations with a girl they're into, then bitch about getting Friend Zoned. Like they can't understand how that happened.

Really she should be both aware of and receptive to your sexual interest before we get to the coffee shop. Actually you shouldn't be in a coffee shop at all. That's where a girl goes with her female friend from college to relax and catch up. You should be taking her to a party, a show, a damn hockey game, something fun. But that's just the problem: they don't do anything fun. So they end up in coffee shops wondering why they're being thought of as "just a good friend". 
I'm basically looking for advise for a second date as she has explicitly stated that she would like to go out a second time to "get to know me better". 
Which means either that he's already Friend Zoned with no chance of escape, or she's sizing him up as committed-relationship material. Which is worse is an exercise I leave to the reader.
As far as I can tell this is a green light ans she likes me so far. 
It's sad he actually believes this. She has no sexual interest in him at all, and he'll likely be back on the internet in two weeks writing things like "she won't return my texts or facebook messages, what's going on???" Which of course will happen after, on the third or fourth "date", he starts making sexual advances and she suddenly cuts him off.

Guys bitch that girls are dishonest with them, that girls string along their sexual interest to use them to fulfill emotional wants. In reality it's the guys that are dishonest, pretending to be interested only in friendship because they think that's their best shot at getting in the girl's pants. Attractive girls meet guys that pull this exact routine ten times a year. They're very experienced at dealing with it and they deal with it just as they should: cutting the guy off before the dramabomb explodes. It's not personal, it's just self-protection.
I was thinking along the lines of mini-golf maybe and then grab something to eat, or vise versa.
Of course you are. Because that once again is something a girl might do with female friends, and you're trying to pass yourself off as a friend hoping to get her to have sex with you later. And you'll explode in frustration when you make your move and she vanishes like a fart in the wind.

Gentlemen, the moral of the story is quit being dishonest about what you want. Be interesting and you'll catch girls' interest. Be boring and you won't. If you're boring, do the damn work to become interesting. It's not that hard.

The let's-be-friends!-OK-now-we're-friends-let's-have-sex routine girls call "playing games" and they say that with disgust. Go right now to any random internet dating site. Start reading through girls' profiles. Half of them or more will say something very close to "done with playing games" or "looking for a guy that doesn't play games". "Playing games" is femalespeak for he pretended to just be interested in friendship then suddenly started making sexual advances. Girls get that all the time and they hate it. So quit doing that to them. Improve yourself, run in social circles where girls on your level (if your social status is a 6, girls who physically are a 5 are on your level) and be honest about what you want. You'll be surprised to discover that many girls out there are just as interested in sex as you are...... at least the girls just below your social status level are. If you're a 6 guy trying to attract 8 girls, you've locked yourself in a failure cycle because you are beneath them.

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